it had been days that I couldn't sleep well...tossed and turned, slept for less than three hours each night for three consecutive nights...something was hurting me and i knew I wanted to pour it out...but I couldn't...
i didn't plan to see you that night, but since i was in the area and needed to feed myself, i thought you may want to swing by so you can give me back the iPod. i guess by now you already know how my face contorts with my emotions...very transparent, very expressive. i don't like it because it gives me away...but i couldn't hide the sadness, the disappointment, the smarting deep down.
but hey, you were sensitive and saw all that...so you offered to talk...
it was nice of you to slide over the bean bag... it was nice to lean on something that will absorb all the negative vibes...but i still felt cold...inside and out...maybe it was just the room temperature, or the overwhelming cold brought by sadness...
i went around to go to your side...took your arm so i can lay my head on your strong shoulder, spooned up facing away from you...can't let you see me tearing...
i felt the warm hand slide over to my side...strong and reassuring, warm and comforting...i knew it...i couldn't hold back anymore, I had to let it off my chest.
warm tears started rolling down my cheeks...i sobbed silently...I felt a bit embarassed by that outburst, but i just couldn't help it...
then you slid your hand inside my jacket to warm my back...your palm on my skin felt so good...that hit the spot! and right there, right that very moment, i just had to release all the pent up emotions...i know you'd understand how a human being would need another at times like this...
i looked up to you, wiped my tears with my knuckles...just like a little girl who had lost her toy...with droopy sad eyes, all i can say was, "sorry...now i look ugly..." you smiled back and said..."no, you don't..."
you have a way of making me feel good...thank you...
"...And there's no cure
And no way to be sure
Why everything's turned inside out
Instilling so much doubt
It makes me so tired
I feel so uninspired
My head is battling with my heart
My logic has been torn apart...
it's all because of you"
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