wish ko lang...

that pretty woman holding me is one of my best friends and ninang. she's one person whom i really, really look up to coz she's done a lot of remarkable things in life that somehow inspire me to do my best as a person. she's a music-piano teacher (i can still hear her voice, yelling at me from 50 meters away, "you're hitting the wrong note!!!" ULIT!!!), a singer (well, although she may have sang only for relatives), life of the party, a perennial jester, a connoiseur in the kitchen, a wife...a loving mother...all rolled into one. she went through a lot in life, and since she's basically a very jolly person (whose raucous laughter used to awaken the sleepy and quiet neighborhood in their street in pandacan...she probably does until now in hayward), she's shown us how strong she is in the face of adversary, was able to weather all storms in her life (well, almost)and emerged as a person of great personality!...warm, very level-headed, very understanding, versatile...very smart!

i may have not said this yet, but ninang, thank you so much for the friendship, the love, the undying support...everything! i've been truly remiss at writing...heto pambawi ko sa yo!

God bless you always and goodluck to grandmotherhood! hehehe... Happy Birthday!

happy father's day, dad!

if i'm not mistaken, this picture was taken shortly after my first birthday (as evidenced by the dick tracy gadget on my lap, the ugly duckling and the pooch that seemed to have gotten it's looks after the duckling...and the time date stamped on the picture). by the yellowing of the picture's paper, you can just imagine how long ago this was taken...hehehe (to give you an idea, it was shortly after apollo 11 came back after it's mission to the moon) and the guy over there behind me (don't you think he looks like...lagalag? hehehe), ofcourse, is my dad! well, i was daddy's little girl...we do have a lot of other pictures like this until i was around 5 years old...that's when we left quezon city and decided to stay here in las piñas...he became a lot busier that time, kaya kumonti ang lakwatsa days namin...but nontheless, i appreciate the wisdom of this old man...makulit minsan, but a lot of the things he's told me were those which i never heard from any of my friends up to this day...thanks dad...thank you so much for that eclectic wisdom that you never fail to impart...thank you for picking me up whenever i stumbled...thank you for putting up with mom's quirks (and staying in that marriage for the longest time)...thank you for staying at home, doing the household work for us when mom had the chance to work...thank you for welcoming me back home, dad...happy father's day :)

of weddings...and sayings

Something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue...things that a bride-to-be would gather (as per instruction from old ladies in the family) for this much awaited occasion...her wedding day. If I may recall, since my wedding was to take place in Intramuros, Manila, anticipating traffic congestion, I dressed up in a room at the Manila Hotel just so to avoid having to make my groom wait. I was sort of nervous that day, but somehow, things were pretty much hassle-free. After dressing up and posing for video (that seems to have take an eternity), I went down to the lobby, half expecting the scene that I would create with that 6-ft train of beaded satin trailing behind me. True enough, there was a crowd of tourists, mostly Asians, who gathered at the reception area...The camera man took a few pictures as I glided across the hall. I knew that everyone's eyes were on me ;-) I felt like cinderella who's about to ride her pumpkin carriage. And then, I heard it...a reverberating applause from the foreign guests! I smiled back as I saw them nod in approval of the mystique walking past them...there it was, my 30-second claim to limelight!

Today, as I traipse down memory lane, all these things have become part of a fairytale that ended years ago...in fact, it ended just a week after my wedding day. No regrets though...for whatever it's worth, having lived and learned the hard way has shaped me (i think) into a better person...better, not necessarily wiser (i still stumble and feel idiosyncratic at times...I know there's still a lot more in life to learn about), but a lot better in the sense that I've discovered myself as to the things that I'm capable of doing...I've learned to love myself!

A wedding is just the start of a colorful, adventurous life. These i learned: something old - what you are willing to give-up for that one person you love; something new - the things that you are willing to go through with your loved one, no matter what; something borrowed - your spouse...borrowed-to-own-eventually...keep in mind that he's not from your side of the family...his values are different from that of yours...learn to compromise; something blue - your life will turn blue, the magic will be gone, if you don't know how to take care of your man...well, mine is a different story :)

In conclusion, i'd keep these things in mind...just in case i get to wear that ecru gown...again!

they came...and they went

This was taken during the intramurals last school-year...they are just few among the many pretty faces in my class Sr-D...i'll miss you guys!

a reason to change

it's been raining incessantly the entire day...rainy days bring in sad emotions...usually, that is...but today, i didn't feel quite that way...i started my morning with a warm tumbler of cafe latte at starbucks (what with 300 bucks left in my wallet! hehehe...the Lord provides!) while i waited for Abbey to come...

Abbey and I went to the Kerygma Feast of Bo Sanchez...three things i learned from Bo today...1) to own up to my behaviour and its consequences...stop blame, own up, and change my life...2) find a gut-level reason for change...yes, my God knows what it is and He provides the plan for me...and 3) do something new!...yes, that's exactly what i'm gonna do...10 years of simply waiting is enough...i have to move on and be a better person for my God...

hmmm...change...it's a beautiful word that i've been hearing for days now...from Bro. Ceci, to Shrek, and now, Bo...i want to change myself, the course of my life, because God might not recognize me when it's time for me to face Him...

but guess what? morbid as it may sound, but change is what Mcsi did for me...his death came as a jolt as it suddenly ended a life with a lot of promise...i thought really hard at why did it have to be me, when there are other teachers in school? why did God choose me?...

as days went on, things began to unfold...mcsi's death brought me to experience new relationships which opened my eyes to reality...reality that somehow got distorted due to my passivity...but not anymore...

thank you Mcsi, my sweet guardian angel, my soulmate...you made things happen for me...your demise, though hurtful and untimely, has brought me hope to do better as a person...thank you dear...i miss you so...