Sunday, June 06, 2004

a reason to change


it's been raining incessantly the entire day...rainy days bring in sad emotions...usually, that is...but today, i didn't feel quite that way...i started my morning with a warm tumbler of cafe latte at starbucks (what with 300 bucks left in my wallet! hehehe...the Lord provides!) while i waited for Abbey to come...

Abbey and I went to the Kerygma Feast of Bo Sanchez...three things i learned from Bo today...1) to own up to my behaviour and its consequences...stop blame, own up, and change my life...2) find a gut-level reason for change...yes, my God knows what it is and He provides the plan for me...and 3) do something new!...yes, that's exactly what i'm gonna do...10 years of simply waiting is enough...i have to move on and be a better person for my God...

hmmm...change...it's a beautiful word that i've been hearing for days now...from Bro. Ceci, to Shrek, and now, Bo...i want to change myself, the course of my life, because God might not recognize me when it's time for me to face Him...

but guess what? morbid as it may sound, but change is what Mcsi did for me...his death came as a jolt as it suddenly ended a life with a lot of promise...i thought really hard at why did it have to be me, when there are other teachers in school? why did God choose me?...

as days went on, things began to unfold...mcsi's death brought me to experience new relationships which opened my eyes to reality...reality that somehow got distorted due to my passivity...but not anymore...

thank you Mcsi, my sweet guardian angel, my soulmate...you made things happen for me...your demise, though hurtful and untimely, has brought me hope to do better as a person...thank you dear...i miss you so...
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