Monday, November 13, 2006

kids say the darnest things

Part 1

one week before i left for the US, my daughter and i went to alabang town center. after getting off the taxi, we went up a flight of stairs to one of the main entrances. before we reached the automatic sliding door, i saw an ex-boyfriend (he's an artista, boy next door image, mind you) coming out of the door together with his sister. "WHAT THE..." i said to myself, and before i can order my legs to walk towards the other direction, (i felt sort of embarassed that he'd see me in this plump state) he went past me, glanced towards my direction (he probably thought it was deja vu...hello??? i'm your ex, honey!) and continued walking. here's the conversation that followed between me and my daughter, after that brief encounter:

joyce: Jace, did you see that tall and cute guy in black shirt who went past us?

jace: yes, you know him?

joyce: yup, he's an ex-boyfriend

jace: ma??? really???

joyce: u-huh! but the relationship was shortlived

jace: (after 5 minutes or so) ma? siguro mas maganda ako kung iba naging tatay ko? ano sa palagay mo?

joyce: haaay...hindi ako mapalagay! (ngek)

Part 2

last april, i spent most of my days sleeping over at my sister's. being a call center agent then, i slept during the day. i found it difficult to sleep at home when my younger cousins were there on vacation. my nephew, though he too was on vacation, would normally be downstairs, blasting away his opponents with his PS2 gadget, so that my sister's bedroom would normally be empty. i slept there most of the time, but one day, the 7-yr old tyke decided to take a nap in his parents' bedroom, beside me.

that day, for some reason, i decided to leave early for work. since i thought my crazy inaanak was still sound asleep, i dressed up in that same bedroom, my back facing him. i had my pants and my bra on, i was about to put on my shirt when i heard a shriek behind me:

"NINANG!!! may boobs ka sa likod!!!" immediately, i pulled down my shirt, sat on the bed, then i heard a follow-up shriek, "Naku!!! nagiging apat pag umupo ka!"

"Lapastangan kang bata ka...TULOG!"

darn those love handles! but as the cliche goes, kids don't lie.


bh said...

we, your fans in the pacific northwest have formed a joyce jimenez fan club and at the election of officers held during the last club meeting, I (probably because I'm your biggest fan) was elected president. Immediately following my election, I appointed myself treasurer because none of the other members looked like they could be trusted with their own lives , let alone money.
(I'll send you the names of the other officers if you want, but the list is not pressingly important at the moment)
I am also the elected secretary and, at the same time, bestowed the responsibility of being the editor of the monthly newsletter.( I tried to beg off on this dubious selection as I didn't have any previous experience of being an editor but to no avail. Some people, once they have made up their minds will not waver)
At some point in the meeting , it was moved and seconded that we publish a monthly newsletter called J.J.J.D. OR
Joyce Jimenez from January to December. we tried to come up with an awesomely alliterative name but sadly this was all we could think of . and believe you me, we brainstormed all night.
And we have an official CD for the club- Sarah McLachlan's WINTERSONG. we figured, maybe, you also like Sarah's hauntingly beautiful voice and her melancholic caresses on the piano and " fumbling towards ecstacy".there ere some of us though, who thought that the album was too haunting and carried a subdued spirit of christmas. the liveliest song in the CD was John Lennon's Happy Christmas, and that's saying a lot.
We have an official flower-Lilly.
someone pointed out that Lilly was appropriate because it was associated with Sarah McLachlan. I , tactfully corrected that person and offered the information that Sarah was Lillith not lilly and then made the announcement that our organization embraces all the arts, and that we were choosing lilly to honor another great artist- Georgia O'Keefe.
what happened to Joyce Jimenez? someone asked. smart ass.
a discussion followed. something fierce.
anyway, the upshot of all that, is that we would like to ask you, if you ever find yourself on the west coast, to grace us with your enchanted presence and therefore bestow a semblance of meaning into our somewhat lost lives? be anywhere on the west coast and we will be

at your service

joyce said...

hahahahaha you are funny =) if you will visit, having contributed only twice since it's conception, i consider myself as the least prolific and least stimulating in that group of ingenious bloggers. i'd like to thank you though for taking the time to say so much just to let me know that you like what you read here.

thank you so much and i hope you continue blogging =)

rain said...

Oh? Sinong artista? :P

joyce said...

nyehehehe kukuwento ko sayo mamaya kung sino at ano ang nangyari hehehe

buboy said...

you're indeed very pretty joyce.,sayang*sabay snap ng fingers*